January 2020

For me, I was looking for a new start at the beginning of 2020. 

In December I had lost an uncle to cancer and a grandfather to complications after surgery just days apart from each other. I was still healing and trying to stay focused on my job and family. I was working at an exotic animal rescue, helping care for big cats and other animals in need of a safe haven. It was what I had always dreamed of doing, almost. I was one of the main tour guides for a number of years, bringing guests around the facility and educating them on the plight of many of our rescues as well as animals in the wild.

After a while of dealing with the public and doing the same thing over and over, sometimes it looses it's charm. The facility decided to change the way management was organized, bringing in someone new to be my boss. It's always hard when you know you have more experience in a certain area and then someone new comes in and disturbs everything. I know sometimes big changes need to happen in order for everything to run even smoother but it's always hard on those who were used to how things had been run for years! 

It may have been for the best of the organization as a whole, but I felt betrayed and belittled. Several of my coworkers felt the same, though none seemed to take it as hard. Within weeks of this transition happening, I had started think about leaving my position in hopes of finding something better and less stressful. 

You know you need a change when you wake up for work and already feel anxiety before you even go in. I don't normally feel anxious about much, but with everything going on, I was definitely feeling the stress. This same feeling had happened to me in 2016, the first time I had left the facility. The management had found a way for me to dislike being around the work I had once enjoyed.

This time around I also did not feel I was getting the respect I deserved for the knowledge I had collected over the years. Being told my "opinion didn't matter" in regards to a decision about an animal, that was the last straw, I knew I had to get out. On January 31st 2020 I walked away from my dream job and career.

I still hope to someday work around exotic animals again. One good friend I had worked closely with also left the following week. She had been in the same position as I had been and knew it was not healthy to work in that environment any longer.

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Not all was bad in January, I had decided to join Roller Derby, a sport long viewed as being violent and dangerous. After watching training videos and championships, my opinion had changed and I decided to give it a go. Yes, people can get hurt, but otherwise it's just a competitive sport like football or basketball. Teams trying to score points and outmatch their opponent to win. Considering I hadn't been on skates in over 15 years, it was fun to re-learn how to be on wheels. After weeks of practice, I felt more confident. 

I'll talk more about my experience in derby in my next post. For now, that pretty much wraps up how my January went. Stress at work, no work, and new adventures. Hope you stick around to read more about my journey when it gets posted.

Posts may be more frequent as I get caught up to current times. Once I'm up to date on events, I may branch out into other topics I feel strongly about. Hope I can keep this blog going. Wish me luck!

In the Beginning...

Where to start... 

There are a lot of reasons to start a blog: food, fashion, politics, environmental causes, or just for fun. This is not one of those blogs. I've flirted with the idea of having a food blog and sharing my love of food and reviewing recipes but... I do not feel that I am the right person to take on that kind of mission. My writing has never been the greatest, but sometimes you need to just get words on paper (or on disc space). So I apologize in advance if this is all a little rough.

This is going to be more of my recollection and opinions of events and happenings in history. 2020 has been one heck of a ride for a lot of people. I have found myself taking a backseat and being drug through all the issues whether I want to or not.

So, a little about myself:

My name is Natalie. I am happily married, we own our own home, have myself some furbabies, and just hit the third decade on my life counter. I was raised on a farm in rural Missouri and enjoyed a pretty happy life. No traumatic events (besides falling off a horse and being stepped on when I was 11 or 12). Christian roots, giving me a strong moral bearing through all the events life has thrown at me. I have always had a love for animals, leading me to open my home to 3 snugly cats, 1 rescued hound dog, a smelly ferret, and a whole room of fish.

I cannot imagine my life having gone in any other direction. I am content where I have ended. If I had moved home right after college, I wouldn't have gotten 7 amazing years with some of the world's most endangered animals, married the love of my life who I had met in college, or be sitting here tonight writing this post. We all end up where we are through a continuous chain of cause and effect. If I had chosen to go to a different university I'd be living somewhere else and would have never met my husband. If I had selected a different degree field I may have never ended up getting an amazing internship that would turn into a career and fill almost a 3rd of my current years.

Life events have a way of making us forget who we are. Sometimes we fall in to the trap of raw emotions and a herd mentality, getting swept away with the media and jumping on the next hashtag trend. We all need to take a step back and assess the situation. How will you make an impact that will be remembered or noted in history? Most people will be a tiny blip on the timeline of humanity. Others will show up as a splash, creating ripples through time.

Think of a famous figure in history... Now, when did you first learn about them? Most historical figures are introduced to us when we are young, learning in school, written about in books. Who do we normally not recognize or even care to get to know when it comes to history? The writers, those who thought to save a recollection of the events and people. Someone recorded those stories and they have been able to be shared with us here in the future. A lot of what we know about various people and events is all from a point of view, someone else's perspective.

Everyone carries their own narrative about events, people, and culture. Down the road, the future generations will be looking back on this time and only have documents, archives and stories to really understand what was going on during this time. We should all be able to share just a glimpse of our perspective, our emotions during events, and especially how we felt we could make a difference.

Join me on my journey through history as I leave my record. Whether I get credit and remembered for it or I become one of the unknown authors, I want to do my part in recording history. 

What about you?

How will you fill Your Hole in History?

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